Storms, house guests, being home with our daughter this summer -- a bit of a whirlwind transitioning into June, but wow, I love the results! We lost internet/email for about a week thanks to various circumstances (moving the web site to a new host caused one hiccup and storms seem to have shorted out some wiring outside the house) I was able to catch my breath. I unplugged in many ways. I set aside 2-3 hours in the morning before Emma woke up, and another few hours some evenings to work on the web site, my marketing materials, and write.... WRITE! I have been wanting to write again for years - and voila... three days in a row of writing blog posts, children's books, and even a cookbook with Emma.
I was so busy I didn't realize how much I wasn't enjoying my life. Now I'm picking berries, working in our garden, meeting new neighbors, playing in the pool, talking with friends, and when I do sit down and work, the results are big. I am not spinning on all the little stuff... I'm focused on accomplishing some specific tasks, and they get done with ease. How extremely satisfying to feel like I'm doing something that matters and not just being busy!
And, as if I needed more reminders...how appropriate that my dear friend Sara sent me a blog post from On Being (http://onbeing.org/blog/the-disease-of-being-busy/7023) last week -- which I ignored cause I was too busy. This morning in the still of the morning, I was going to send a 'hello' message to Sara. I saw her message there (the one I ignored -- the one without a reply from me!) The 'doer' in me felt guilty. The new side of me that is emerging remembered what my hubby keeps telling me: "all is at it should be".
I opened the blog posting she sent and read it... As I read it to myself, at times, out loud and with commentary, I had to remind my self to quiet down since Emma was/is still sleeping. I kept saying "YES!" "I so do that!"... the posting completely resonated. Then I read the part Sara sent me on the text message and I got it..I deeply got it:
In many Muslim cultures, when you want to ask them how they’re doing, you ask: in Arabic, Kayf haal-ik? or, in Persian, Haal-e shomaa chetoreh? How is yourhaal?
Right in the middle of the living room I stopped, gently released my stubborn legs, and eased down to the ground (as much as I am able to ease) and took a breath. I thought about my day and what I really wanted to accomplish. What did I really need to accomplish? Who did I want to connect with? What is my heart aching for?
It was fascinating, as for the first time in a long time, I was able to breathe deeply knowing I was on the right path. My heart wasn't aching, it was feeling joy and gratitude - for Sara, for the article, for the work I am doing, for my family, for my husband, for the time with Emma, for the summer...
This web site, this blog, has been a wonderful journey for me. I have become very clear on who I am in this moment, what I want, and who I want to work with... I have taken a firm stance on when I will work, how I will work, what my life will look like with this new approach toward work.
What is your heart aching for? What would bring you joy and gratitude? What is cluttering your life, your work... your day-to-day? Let me know! Let's cultivate a life that is clear for you in this moment and your future moments, let's grow the ideas deep in your heart, let's remove the weeds that entangle you.
I am not asking how many items are on your to-do list, nor asking how many items are in your inbox. I want to know how your heart is doing, at this very moment. Tell me. Tell me your heart is joyous, tell me your heart is aching, tell me your heart is sad, tell me your heart craves a human touch. Examine your own heart, explore your soul, and then tell me something about your heart and your soul.
Mr Safi, thank you for your words of wisdom and clarity! http://onbeing.org/column/omid-safi
Sara, thank you for speaking to my soul, as always!
Our garden of ideas are housed in this blog. Much of our work is around innovation -- taking an idea from a space of creativity to action.